Sora The Explorer!
by t0talpwnage
Summary: Well, here it is, Sora the Explorer. Might as well have come eventually by the insane writer that I am! Sora and Riku find themselves on a childish T.V show! Chap 1. Find the Torn Pages!
1. The Torment Begins

**Sora the Explorer.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Square Enix, Disney, Kingdom Hearts, Homestarrunner, Dora the Explorer, or Nickelodeon.

WARNING: Reading this may cause brain cells to decay.

I'm not doing this to make fun of Kingdom Hearts, in fact, Kingdom Hearts is a godly game, this is just a parody of Dora the Explorer. :)

Flame all ya want :-)

* * *

Sora!

Riku!

Come on Sora!

so-so-so-so-Sora!

so-so-so-so-Sora!

so-so-so-so-Sora!

Lets go!

Sora Sora Sora the explorer!

SORA!

Riku and supercool explora Sora!

We need your help!

Against the Heartless!

Grab your Keyblade!

Lets go!

Jump in!

Moogle!

You can lead the way!

Hey! Hey!

do-do-Sora!

do-do-Sora!

Axel no swiping!

Axel no swiping! (oh man)

It's Sora the explorer!

Sora: Oh, hello everybody everybody!

Kids: Hey Sora!

Riku: Don't forget about me!

Kids: Hey Riku!

Sora: Today, we are going to save Pooh' memory by collecting the Torn Pages!

Riku: Hey, what did that little stuffed plushie do for me?!

Sora: Screw you.

Riku:(

Sora: So kids, how are we going to find the Torn Pages?

(pause)

Kid: Hey, I know, let's ask No, cheating is for losers.

Kid:(

Kid#2: Lets ask Cid!

Sora: Good idea! Now everybody, let's try to call Cid out!

Kid1: Cid!

Kid2: Cid!

Kid3: Cid!

Kid4: Cid!

Kid5: Christopher Columbus!

Strong Bad: No, F minus minus.

Suddenly, Cid pops out, like magic!

Cid: I'm the Cid, no not you kid, no, my hair is not a wig, chig chig chicka chicka chicka, b-break it down!

Kids:TT-TT Waaah! You stink!

Cid:-(. Anyway, we need to find the Torn Pages! Where, well let's see. Cave of Wonders, Chamber 6, Aerial's Grotto! Cave, Chamber, Grotto! Cave Chamber, Grotto! Cave Chamber, Grotto! Cave Chamber, Grotto! Cave Chamber, Grotto! Cave Chamber, Grotto! Cave Chamber, Grotto!

Riku: OH GOD JUST SHUT UP!

Cid: Fine.

Kid: Hey, mister, there are still two more torn pa-

Cid: Shut up.

Kid: WAAHH! I'm telling my mom!

Sora: So kids, let's review, Cave, Chamber, Grotto!

Somehow, as if by magic, Sora and Riku are magically teleported to the Cave of wonders.

Riku: Let's just get this over with so I can get paid.

Sora:… YOU GET PAID?! Ahem. Okay kids, we have to get to the middle island to open that chest. Will you help us:

Kid: No.

Sora: Good! Now, on the count of three, jump to the island! One… Two… Three! Hey! I don't see you jumping! Yeah, you over there! Jump! Jump or I'll kill you!!!!!

(5 Min Later)

Sora: Okay kids, on the count of three, say 开放!

Kids???

Sora: I said say, 开放!

Kids: Screw you.

Sora:(

Suddenly, the ground cracks and Sora and Riku fall towards their demise.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?! TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EPISODE OF SORA THE EXPLORER!

* * *

Yes... Now, dump your eyes in chemical waste to forget the pain of this plundered story. If I don't get at least 5 positive reviews, I'll just delete this.

Yeah, I was pretty insane while writing this.


	2. In Which Curaga is used

**Sora the Explorer.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Square Enix, Disney, Kingdom Hearts, Homestarrunner, Dora the Explorer, or Nickelodeon.

WARNING: Reading this may cause brain cells to decay.

I'm not doing this to make fun of Kingdom Hearts, in fact, Kingdom Hearts is a godly game, this is just a parody of Dora the Explorer. :)

Different writing style now.

Tell me if the Chinese in the story is visible. My Chinese is more like Chinglish.

Flame all ya want :-)

* * *

Ahem. As we were saying, Sora and Riku were falling towards their untimely deaths.

"Oh God please let me live! I have a whole future ahead of me!" Riku sobbed.

"Yeah, a future like being promoted to Riku's Clues?" Sora teased.

"Shut up! OH man why me??... Hey, we're not dead yet!" Riku cried.

"Yeah, I bet this is a bottomless pit."

"When you fall in a bottomless pit, you die of starvation…"

"… I've always had a fetish for Kari's socks…" Riku said.

For a second, all the air in Sora's lungs rushed up his mouth causing an audible laughter.

"Hey, hey man, back off, at least I don't have a fetish for Kari's shampoo!"

Sora's laughter immediately ceased.

(5 minutes of uncomfortable silence later)

"Hey, Riku, I think I see China!"

Indeed, the two boys landed in China, which was technically impossible for two reasons. In Sora's world logic, on ContinentOne World. Another reason is that you were immediately disintegrate after coming 3 feet away from the mantle layer of Earth. That is all.

Sora landed in a nice soft, plush carpet while Riku landed in someone's Won Ton.

"嘿, 您登陆了在我的被赢取的吨汤里! 离开在我踢您的屁股之前!" (Hey, you landed in my Won Ton soup! Leave before I kick your ass!)

"我必须使用洗手间推一把长的剑您的妻子的茶杯!"( I have to use the toilet to shove a long sword up your wife's tea cup!) Countered Sora.

"What did you say?"

"I think I said 'Where is the route to Los Angeles'."

The Chinese Guy was pretty steamed as he reached for his brass knuckles.

"您丢脸了我的客人和I! 准备死!" (You have dishonored my guests and I! Prepare to Die!)

In a few minutes, shrill, girly screams were heard in the Temple. This scene is so violently disturbing that we must interrupt this program from a word from our sponsor.

THEY WANNA BE THE DOMINANT SPECIES OF THE PLANET AND THEY'LL DESTROY US ALL TO MAKE IT HAPPEN! DESTROY US ALLLLLL!

And now we're back.

(57 Potions and a Curaga Spell later)

"Well, at least we got the friggin page."

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Next time on Sora the Explorer: Stuff happens and they find another page. Oh, and more Riku pain.

* * *

Short Chapter. Sue me. 


	3. In Which the Inevitable Occurs

**Sora the Explorer.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Square Enix, Disney, Kingdom Hearts, Homestarrunner, Dora the Explorer, or Nickelodeon.

WARNING: Reading this may cause brain cells to decay.

I'm not doing this to make fun of Kingdom Hearts, in fact, Kingdom Hearts is a godly game, this is just a parody of Dora the Explorer. :)

Different writing style now.

Goofy-Speak is hard to type.

Full fledged chapter today.

Flame all ya want :-)

* * *

Da-da-dada-da-dadada! Level up! Found Torn Page! Sora Gained Cucumber! Riku gained anonymous object of intelligence enhancing!

"What the hell is an anonymous object of intelligence enhancing?" Riku asked.

"It appears to be a dictionary." Sora wisely explained as they walked on the eerily happy road.

Riku opened the dictionary and searched for Hippopotamus, because they are secretly his favorite animal. Why? Who knows?

"Hey Sora, did you know that Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia means fear of long words?"

"No, I did not notice that."

Well, the plot just got immensely boring so I'm going to think of a crazy plot twist.

Think, think, think, think… Oh! I got it! Axel suddenly appears.

"Oh no kids, it's Axel the swiper! Tell him to back off!"

"Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! Axel no swiping! (5 minutes later.) Axel no swiping!"

"Zzzzzzzz z (pop) Oh! So you were done. Ahem. Do you REALLY think that your-"

"Axel no swiping!"

"Grrr… Shut up. As I was saying… Do you REALLY think that your puny words wi-"

"Axel no swiping!"

"SHUT up! Do you REALLY think that your puny words will prevent me from taking the tor-"

"Axel no swiping!"

"OH FOR THE LAST TIME, SHUT UUUPP!!!!!!"

"Axel강타! 悪い男の子である! Ga nu weg." (Korean:No swiping. Japanese:You are a very bad boy. Dutch: Go away now)

"… I have no idea what you just said. It sounded bad so I will kill you now." Axel said reaching for his circles of fiery death.

"Bad… Bad boy Axel. Put down the circles so no one gets hurt…"

"3rd quarter analysis spreadsheets come in handy when the sky poops three foot elephants!" A sail shouted.

"?" Said Axel.

"?" Said Sora.

"I really need to get a life" said Riku.

"The second Twinke on the left is implemented with a atomic saucer like waterbottle!" cried the snail.

"I don't speak stupid." Riku muttered.

"But luckily, I know someone who does! I chose you, Goofy!... Nothing's happening." Sora cried.

"Doy! Goofy is a level 3.14159 monster! You have to sacrifice a circle while doing Hopscotch!" exclaimed Axel.

"Ohhh! I see now."

(One really awkward game later)

"A-hyuck! Whaddaya need me fer Soruh?" Hyucked Goofy.

"I need you to communicate with that snail."

"Sure ting Soruh!"

"日の前日にのような不可解で奇妙な日のピクルスにされた眼球ジュースの涼しいガラスのような何も今日ない!"( There is nothing like a cool glass of pickled eyeball juice on a weird strange day such as the day before the day today!)" Squeaked the snail.

"A-hyuck! Βλέπω μια κόλλα δεκατεσσάρων ίντσας μπορώ με ένα ολισθηρό έμβολο με τέσσερα πόδια!( I see a fourteen inch glue can with a slippery piston with four legs!)"

"當然您知道, 我們的語言無法由這些少許人瞭解由於他們未開展的頭腦。它是好知道某人分享語言和SIA 一樣: 蝸牛情報機構。" (Of course you know, our language cannot be understood by these lesser humans because of their undeveloped minds. It is good to know someone that shares the same language as the SIA: Snail Intelligence Agency.)

"A-hyuck! Parte traseira da direita em você!" (Right back at yoU!)"

"So Goofy, what did he say?"

"He says yer shoe lace is untied."

"Oh, thanks."

"So where were we? Oh that's right, I was about to KILL YOU!" Laughed Axel.

"Not so fast! I summon the indescribable evil that will eventually consume the world in one haste sweep and I really hope this isn't a run-on sentence." Challenged Riku.

(5 min later)

Riku noticed that no one was responding to his pitiful cry.

"Ah crap. Where did they go this time?!"

**With Sora and Axel**

"Uh-huh. So what happened next at Marluxia's party?" Sora asked.

"Well, you see, he started to give around nail polish and stuff. It was really uncomfortable. And like, Demyx started to play the guitar singing 'Girls, they Wanna Have Lunch'. We all sang along and had like, a really good time and all."

"So uh, should we check on Riku?" Sora asked.

"Naw."

**With Riku**

"Finally! A chance that I can prove my awesomeness! I will venture alone to find the Torn Page! I rock!" Riku said while piloting the Gummi ship, which he convenitiently made out of REAL Gummi worms.

As he approached the whale, he noticed something was wrong. The whale looked bloated, constipated, and just REALLY uncomfortable untill the inevitable happened.

It barfed.

That's right, 3000 feet of somethings that should not be mentioned sprewed out at the used-to-be edible gummi ship at 320 miles per hour.

Along with that came conveniently the torn page.

* * *

Not really sure if I spelt everything correctly. 


	4. In which DDR is Played

**Sora the Explorer.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Square Enix, Disney, Kingdom Hearts, Homestarrunner, Dora the Explorer, or Nickelodeon. Or DDR

WARNING: Reading this may cause brain cells to decay.

I'm not doing this to make fun of Kingdom Hearts, in fact, Kingdom Hearts is a godly game, and this is just a parody of Dora the Explorer. :)

Different writing style now.

I probably won't be updating tomorrow because of my vacation. Today will be a short chapter.

Flame all ya want :-)

* * *

Da-da-dada-da-dadada! Level up! Found Torn Page! Riku gained indescribable liquid all over his pants! 

"I think I soiled myself." Riku whimpered.

**With Sora and Axel**

"How's the tea?" asked Axel.

"Delicous"

"And the crumpets?"

"Very good. Should we check on Riku now?"

"Naw. I still have DDR."

"Ohh! DDR? Lemme play!"

ダンスのダンスの回転2!

あなたの様式を選びなさい_: Versus!_

あなたのレベルを選びなさい_: Heavy Mode._

あなたの歌を選びなさい_:Get Down Tonight_

_(Start)_

_Baby, babe, let's get together.  
Honey, hon, me and you.  
And do the things, ah, do the things  
That we like to do.  
Do a little dance, make a little love,  
Get down tonight.  
Get down tonight.  
Do a little dance, make a little love,  
Get down tonight.  
Get down tonight.  
Baby, babe, I'll meet you,  
Same place, same time._

Sora, along with Axel, magically grew afros and platform shoes. Soon, they were grooving it out with their madd disco moves.

_Where we can get together  
And ease up our mind.  
Do a little dance, make a little love,  
Get down tonight.  
Get down tonight.  
Do a little dance, make a little love,  
Get down tonight.  
Get down tonight._

Spin, Up, Down, Left, Right, Jump, Break it down! (Not apart of song)

_Do a little dance, make a little love,  
Get down tonight.  
Get down tonight.  
Get down, get down, get down, get down,  
Get down tonight baby.  
Get down, get down, get down, get down,  
Get down tonight baby.  
Get down, get down, get down, get down,  
Get down tonight baby.  
Get down, get down, get down, get down,  
Get down tonight baby.  
Get down, get down, get down, get down,  
Get down tonight baby.  
Get down, get down, get down, get down,  
Get down tonight baby.  
Get down, get down, get down, get down,  
Get down tonight baby.  
Get down, get down, get down, get down,  
Get down tonight baby.  
Get down, get down, get down, get down,  
Get down tonight baby._

_(End)_

結果: Player 1(Axel):B++

: Player 2 (Sora): A

"AHA! Beat that fool! They don't call me the Keyblade master for nothing!"

Axel just looked down in shame in disgust.

**With Riku**

Apparently, the gummi ship was nearly destroyed by the fluid that shall not be named. Therefore, Riku had to use the escape pod (and a new pair of pants) to travel "Under the sea"

* * *

END 

See, short!


End file.
